So, I am at a turning point in my life, the ending of one chapter and the begining of another. There hasn’t been much excitement as I would have hoped, I feel more fear than anything. The situation is not as I would have it but if I pause, breath and reevaluate, I’m sure it is exactly what I need. That has been my experience in the last several months, I get exactly what I need.
I have spent the last four months in treatment for substance abuse. I have learned alot about myself and others around me. I have developed bonds with people I would otherwise never havdde made an attempt to know and I am grateful for that. I have learned new coping skills; to write how I feel; to pray; to meditate; to pause and breath; but most importantly, to speak about how I feel–to speak about my thoughts. That is a thing I have never done, I have spent my whole life bottling up my thoughts and emotions until I explode.
I share this thought in the hope someone may relate, someone may be inspired, so someone may feel not alone. So I am a 30 year old man and I am afraid. I am afraid because I am leaving the place I am comfortable at. I am afraid because I am not going thome to children. I am afraid because I will be moving into a new halfway house. I am afraid because I will have to meet new people and open up all over again. I am afraid because I am selfish and only thinking of myself.
I am not afraid when I am thinking of someone else. I am not afriad when God is my priority. I am nott afraid when I see oppurtunity for growth. I am not afraid when I realise love exists within me.
I pray for all of you to be blessed and even though we have never met I love each and everyone of you. Remember… we are eternal beings only having a human experience.