I am who I am

I was born on February 18th, 1989. That makes me think of a book I once read called “Born On A Blue Day”, but I’ll get to that in a minute. First, the birth of a child, joyous, celebratory, unconditional love. These are the first words that came to mind at the thought of a new born baby. Sadly, none of these words were true in the life of Shawn Morales. He was born early on a cold Saturday morning, on the Lower East Side of Manhattan in a place called Alphabet City, on Avenue D.

Shawn was born blue due to lack of oxygen, hence the book reference. Sadly, Shawn’s mother was addicted to crack/cocaine so he was also born an addict. Lastly, his mother was HIV possitive, so Shawn was also born possitive in a time when HIV was a death sentence. Thankfully to the unnamed and unkown angels in an ambulance Shawn was rushed to Beth Israel Hospital.

God has walked with Shawn from conception until this very moment and continues to walk with him. Shawn was fostered from the hospital by more of God’s undercover agents. The people who chose to be this child’s parents are named Michael McAllister and Sarah McAllister. God has since reclaimed Michael but Sarah is alive at the time of this writing.

By the age of 3 Shawn Morales was legally adopted and his name was changed to Sean Patrick McAllister. He was given every oppurtunity in life contradictory to the events of his birth but something was hidden deep within him. A pain that ripped at who he was. He suffered from depression, self harm, sucidal idiations, aggression, anger, violence and his own battle with addiction. Today Sean has learned that all of this pain he has suffered is from a trauma unbeknown to him because that trauma was his birth.

I am Sean Patrick McAllister and I have finally found where all of my pain comes from.

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