90 Days

      Today I have accumulated 90 days “clean and serene”, yes I am clean but serene is something I am not. The last few days I have romanticized in my head of using. I have seen joy and relief in my minds eye, selective thinking. How quickly does an addict`s mind forget the horrors of active addiction. I place my using above my children, above my ex-fiance, above my mother, above my sister, above my brother, above my niece, above my God-son.
See something has been off, there was something lacking in my program and I wasn`t sure what it was. I constructed a list in my mind and yes some things I laxed on but what was missing, then a voice echoed in my mind. “We read __ approved literature”. Like lightning igniting the sky, so I found my `Basic Text` and started from the beginning. How much lighter do I feel. So it`s back to thee basics for this cat. => Sean McAllister

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